Final thoughts from Beijing

Hi everyone,

It is Sunday morning here in Beijing, and my family just left for the airport. What a day we had yesterday! They crammed in shopping at the silk/pearl market (I had to do the price negotiating for Sudee and Mark until they got the hang of it :), a tour of the Olympic Village, and a trip to the Great Wall. The taxi fares are really good here. We rented a taxi for the entire day for about $100.

Now I am on day 2 of retirement. It feels really nice. I am not the party animal I thought I would be after finishing with sports. This makes me nervous, because I have bragged to some friends that I will be able to stay up really late now. There is a some smack talk going on about this, and I am in over my head. These three friends (Darby, Jules and Steph) stayed up the entire night with my family back in Michigan during the competition. They were going to do a Lemon drop shot for every fencing bout I won. They left a message on my cell phone voice mail after the fence saying that they were sober :)

In this email I just want to share my final thoughts on the competition. There is a final message at the end....one that I had no idea would be there.

The shooting was a really positive experience for me. It was not my best score, but it was by far the best I have ever executed "the process" in competition. I was most nervous for this event going into the Games, because I feared that the anxiety would overwhelm me and that the score would be horrendous. All of the work I did to focus on the process paid off, and the anxiety levels were almost non-existent.

The fencing was where something amazing happened. At the half way point I could not even stand to be in my own skin. I had only two victories, and I wished that I had never made the team at that point. I caught my sister Sudee's eye in the stands and motioned her to come to the front row of the stands so that I could talk to her between bouts. She came down, and I hugged her through the railing that separated the spectator seating from the competition floor. I told her that I could not take this anymore and that I wanted to walk off and not feel the embarrassment anymore. She pulled away from the hug, looked me straight in the eye and said, "No" She said, "you cannot want. Do not "want" anything. Go finish this event how you have always finished...without giving up."

I asked her if my mom and dad were ok. She said that they were having the best time ever. I looked over towards where they were sitting, and my mom was smiling so big and waving an American flag. At that moment every ounce of embarrassment left my body. I did not have to fake being positive. There was some sort of instant acceptance of the journey.

The swim went as expected. It felt strange to think that after 33 years of swimming I was finished with pushing so hard in the pool. 30 of those years have been with the same coach, Greg Phill. Greg has coached me since age nine, and I can still remember those first days vividly. How could I have known that he would be there 30 years later to send me off to my last race in the pool halfway around the world.

After drying off I changed into the riding outfit we were given for the Games. I felt so great in the beautiful red riding jacket that I wore it the entire two hours before it was my turn to mount the horse. It was hot, but I didn't care. My horse draw was Liangliang, a thoroughbred that was taken off the race track to become a jumper for these Games. Today, two days after the competition, my forearms are still sore from the half-halting in the warm up ring.

Liangliang and I went out as the last afternoon sun had passed below the stadium bleachers, so we were riding under the bright lights of the stadium. After the disaster rides the men had the day before I figured that my mom was not watching. Later she would reveal that she did indeed watch. She has come a long way!! :)

When Liangliang and I finished the ride with zero penalties the giant tv screen at the stadium flashed the word "AMAZING" over and over. I couldn't believe it. This beautiful horse had just taken me on the most amazing ride of my life. Later I would find out that I won the ride because out of the three riders to score 1200 points my time was closest to the optimal time without going over. If I had dared to ask anything good to happen during these Games I would never have had the gumption to ask for something this wonderful.

The final event was at 8:00 pm, and the energy in the stadium during the run was electrifying. The Chinese people love these Games, and they cheer for every athlete, not just their own. I warmed up with Margaux, and we just smiled the entire time and told each other how happy we were to be teammates together. I told her that these Games would be historic. There is something about it here.

After having the best summer of my life with run training (no injuries), I felt super strong. I passed 9 people to finish 19th place overall.

It wasn't until a minute or two after the run finish that I realized what had just happened. The only way I can describe this is to say that it was as if God was holding something in His hands like you would hold a baby bird. His hands were cupped holding something really delicate, and when He raised the top hand to reveal what was there the only thing I could say was "it is beautiful." It had to be finished to see the beauty. Every difficult experience, even the fencing results that day, were part of a finished gift that was just how He had envisioned it all along. I only could see it when it was revealed as the finished piece.

This is the Olympic journey.
Sheila

Update from Singapore

Hi all,

An update from Singapore: Training is great, and this city/state is wonderful. Yesterday we had the afternoon off training, and we walked around downtown. We rode a hot air balloon 300+ feet and there were amazing views of Malaysia and Indonesia. Tomorrow we will have breakfast with the orangatanes at the zoo. I guess they sit right next to you. I am going to see about an espresso, but tea will work. This type of activity is completely up my alley!!

My training feels really good. Today we did a 1k time trial on the track, and Janusz clocked me at 2:57.8 . I saw 2:58 as I crossed the line. My 800 split was 2:23. This 1k time is 15 seconds faster than I have ever run a 1k. The swim is falling into place too. Now, I just hope that the skill sports go well enough to make the swim and run matter. We will see. I will be trying my hardest (except in the shoot....I guess you're not supposed to try in that....:) They say you cannot want to shoot a 10. As the Egyptian athlete joked with me a couple of months ago, he and I don't want to shoot 10's; we just want to shoot 9's :)

It is nice to be in a position to have a good day, if the stars align. It is my job to get there mentally. I wish I had all of you here to make me smile and laugh before getting up to the shoot line.

I miss all of you!!
Sheila

"Water Drinking Workout"

I just wanted to tell you of something that happened to me a few days ago in Beijing that has meant more to me than anything else.

I was in a van with about 10 people from the swim team headed over to a Speedo press conference last week. On the ride over I knew some of the swimmers but not all of them. The girl sitting next to me asked me if I remembered being a guest coach at a national team training camp at the Olympic Training Center for girls age 12-15 way back in 1997. I remembered it well. She started to tell a story, and I knew exactly where she was headed with it.

At one of the practices that weekend there was one of the 12 year olds who got altitude sickness and could not swim the workout at one of the sessions. I remember her being so distraught sitting on the pool deck against the wall, and all of the national team coaches were ignoring her. There was no question that this young girl wanted to be in the workout...she was not wimping out. I brought her a glass of water and told her that her workout was to drink 8 of those glasses before the swim practice ended. I told her I would be watching her and checking to make sure she finished her "water drinking workout". I can vividly remember the moment, because it made her laugh, and it gave her a goal.

I never knew her name (or at least I could not remember it all of these years), but on the van ride over last week she repeated the story and said that she was that girl. If you have watched the swimming in Beijing she is the breastroker in the 100 (Megan Jendrick). She used to be Megan Quann who rocked the breastroke events in either Sydney or Athens (I cannot remember).

Of course this event did not alter her world, but the fact that it was something she remembered was so cool to me. When we feel for someone else's hurt and try to reach out, it is remembered. You have all done that for me at times, and I do not forget. Thanks mucho!
Sheila

Opening Ceremonies!

Hi all,

We marched last night in opening ceremonies, and as I write this you are hopefully able to watch them on NBC.

I just want to pass along the message that the Chinese people have done an amazing job. Their spirit is truly the Olympic spirit. They are dancing in the streets; they are dancing everywhere, shouting "welcome to Beijing!" Everywhere you go, you know that most of them cannot speak English, but it seems that every citizen has learned that phrase.

Whatever the news reports might say about questioning whether or not China should have hosted these Games, just know that the first hand report is that the people here "get it". I am so happy for them.

I hope that comes through in the tv reports. It is wonderful to experience this.

Love,
Sheila

Ni hao from Beijing!

I just arrived yesterday in Beijing, after processing in California for two days. We checked into the Olympic Village about 15 hours ago (right now it is 3:45 p.m for you on Wed., and it is 3:45 a.m. Thursday for me). I have been wide awake since 2:30 this morning. It is no surprise that my 16 year old teammate is sound asleep as if we are on the time zone that is perfectly natural. The old lady is wide awake and the 16 year old is sound asleep....this is my life in pentathlon:)

Since the dining hall is open 24 hours, I took full advantage of that. I went in and had a very healthy salad (Katherine, you would be proud of me), and I had a McDonald's hamburger fries and McCafe latte with that salad (does that negate the healthy salad?)

I had the entire 10,000 seat dining hall to myself, and I walked around the Village after eating. I had the entire Village to myself. This is the most beautiful Olympic Village I have ever seen. It has meandering streams running through it. You cannot take a completely direct straight line path to most places from our building. It is set up with the Feng Shui (spelling?) feel. Just beautiful.

Also, they are making this the first "green Olympics", so it is posted everywhere to be conscious of doing our part. The bowls, plates, etc. are biodegradeable, and the trash bins are all sorted for recycling.

Last night I had dinner with the swim team. My college coach, Jack Bauerle, is the head Olympic Women's Swim Team coach, and it was great to see him. There is a bit of a feeling of "home" when you see people you really love half way around the world, and Jack is one of those people. Of course I did not want to take up much of his time, since they begin the swimming in two days. I ate last night with Dara Torres, the 41 year old swimmer in the news. She is great. It is nice to have someone around who knows what the 80's were like :)

On the flight over we were with the tennis team. Venus and Serena Williams, as well as Lindsay Davenport, were on the flight. I felt badly that the modern pentathlon team was in first class and that they were all in the back in economy.

I am having fun, but of course I miss home. Take care.
Sheila

P.S. One of these sentences is a lie!

When an archer is shooting...

It's four days before flying off to Beijing for the Olympics. Actually, the first stop is San Jose, California for team processing. This is where all USA teams go before flying to China. We get the opening ceremonies outfits as well as all other gear for the Games. It is a ton of fun. My three teammates have never been to an Olympic Games, so they are in for a treat. I remember in 1996 when I made my first team to Atlanta, Eric Namesnik (who many of you know as one of the greatest swimmers of all time, and who sadly passed away two years ago) sent me a card where he wrote only one sentence, "Get ready to have the time of your life." Snik was right. That 1996 Olympics were magical. It was so because of the spirit of Team USA.

Now I head off to China 12 years older, a little more crickety, but thankful more than ever for how the past three years have gone. The sponsors who stayed in the game with me and took a chance are the reason why I could afford to go for this goal (they are listed all over my website). The support they gave stirs a thankfulness that also leads to humility, because I have seen kids all over this country and world who never had the opportunity I have had. I know that I am not the best athlete in the world if I bring home a gold. There are many young kids who are selling flowers and Chicklets gum on the streets in big cities just to earn enough money for food for the day who, if they had the same chance I had, they would whoop me...I can see it in their eyes and in their bodies.

If you had been on the phone with me three years ago when I was asking you to partner with me in pentathlon, would you have gone for it when I told you I had never held a gun, never been on a horse, nor ever thought about the sport of fencing? The leap of faith they took is appreciated tremendously. I never knew how crazy it sounded to tell them that I thought I could make the Olympic team while at the same time saying I didn't know the first thing about those sports.
For some reason I always thought this was do-able, and I never questioned that there would be great coaches who would teach me quickly enough.

Even with the support, the tough times were really tough. I was on the verge of giving it up almost on a daily basis. Those skill sports (riding, fencing, shooting) are just as tough as any other sport. To hold a gun up and press the trigger is not difficult, but try hitting "center 10" time and time again....and do it when there is pressure to win....that is tough. There is a great quote someone gave me that is so true:

'when an archer is shooting for enjoyment, he has all the skill; when he shoots for a brass buckle, he gets nervous; when he shoots for a prize of gold, he begins to see 2 targets.' -Chuang Tsu (Taoist Philosopher)

Yes, it is true. The nerves during the shoot are perhaps the worst feeling I have ever felt in sport. If you know me, you know my personality is not so suited to calm. This is the challenge in multi-sport...working on the weaknesses while competing to your strengths.

I go into Beijing not knowing how the competition will go. I am in the best shape of my life. I have been healthy the entire summer. I have trained the three skill sports knowing there was not one more thing I could have done to try to learn as much as possible in the time I had. That is all I can ask for when going into the Olympics. The results will be what they were meant to be.

I cannot express how thankful I am to have family, friends, and coaches who have hammered that message into my head. My coaches have always stepped aside and only wanted what is best for the athlete. Greg Phill, my swimming coach of 30 years (that has to be a record), told me in 1996 that he only wanted it to go well for me, not for him. His life was about his family, not about whether I swam well enough to show that he was a good coach. Lew Kidder, my triathlon coach and pentathlon advisor has always said that he is just there to give advice....I can take it or leave it, that I am my own best coach. My college swim coaches, Harvey Humphries and Jack Bauerle (Jack, by the way, is the head women's swim coach in Beijing) told me to go to this Olympics and smile the way they saw me smile in 1996. Not one of my coaches wants success for themselves over the athlete's happiness. That is why I have enjoyed sport for so long. I thank God for the coaches I have loved over the years.

More than anything I thank God for the family and friends I love and who have loved me even through the ugliest of times. At night, my prayers are only for them. God has answered all of those prayers. It amazes me. I have cried on the phone to sisters and brothers when times were tough; my nieces and nephews have helped by mowing my lawn and going grocery shopping for me; and my mom and dad have been the best cat sitters in the world (I call them the "tuna juice cat-sitters".....I called home one day to check on things, and my mom announced that she had just brought tuna juice to the bedroom for the cats. I said, "like room service?!")

There is a bond with people that I cannot describe. I do not want to say in this blog simply that I am thankful for my family and friends. It is so much more than that. Phone conversations end with "I love you", no matter if it was just a quick call or a lengthy discussion. This is the same even with many friends (the ones who don't freak out if you say "I love you." :) Truly, I love my friends. The hurried part of finishing my sports career is so that I can enjoy time with people. For the past 8-10 years I have felt so tired at the end of each day that I have not spent enough time with people. It leads to the question, "when does intense goal setting need to be put aside in order to enjoy what we were made to enjoy?" After Aug. 22, that is the time.

Finally, this blog is to say THANK YOU to the people who have supported my family's trip to Beijing by making a donation or by buying a t-shirt. Every time someone buys one or tells me about how their friend who doesn't even know me or my family wants to buy one, I get a feeling that I cannot describe. I can only say that it is a feeling that brings a calm that I rarely experience. I want so badly for the world to be good, that when someone does such a kind thing as to help my family with their expenses to the Games, it is like God saying, "see the good."

Ok, I have rambled. My brother, Steven, who does the website, has asked me to blog for the past year, and I never get around to it. Now, when I do, the rambling doesn't stop. I will just end with letting you know that the one guarantee I can give you for Beijing is that I will be trying my hardest. The results may be good, or they may be tough to swallow. I have had my fair share of wins in my career, and I also know what disappointment feels like in sport. Life doesn't change much either way. I still pray the same prayers at night, and I still get to have a good cup of coffee in the morning.

I hope for you that you are finding that good balance in reaching your goals and in enjoying what brings you the most happiness in life. God bless.
Sheila

Being Thankful

The message I want to send is that I am thankful for reaching this goal. I have been blessed to stay healthy and to have just the right amount of support when I needed it most. There were times when it seemed like it was not possible to make ends meet financially, and there were times when I thought I would never learn the three new sports in time.

In 2005 I realized that I was in the business of making the 2008 Olympic team; I was not in the business of earning the tip-top price on my house that was for sale. I sold the house in 2006 at a much lower price than I originally expected, but that is the type of decision that must be made at times when you know the bigger goal.

What is your main mission? A person has an easier time making decisions when he/she knows the primary goal, because your decisions should support that goal. Most of the decisions I made the past three years were to give this dream a chance, and it was realized in large part because of that focus.

The real key, however, was in the family, friends, coaches, sponsors, and general support I received. It was at times just enough to keep me in the game, and at other times it was in abundance. I could not be more thankful.

Now, going into Beijing, my goal is to enjoy the Olympics again as I did the first time in 1996, with wide eyes. I do not want to look at it in terms of conquering in the arena of play. I will train for that. I want to win. There is nothing that will keep me from putting forth everything I have to train to do my best, but the one thing that I could do that would make this the best Olympic experience is to view it with the spirit I had in 1996. The Olympics are amazing. The entire world represented in one city for two weeks, putting aside differences in religion and politics, and coming together on one playing field, a fair playing field... it is a beautiful event.

While I will be trying to win, I want people to know that the mission I set out on was realized. I wanted to break the paradigm that a person is too old at age 39 to learn new sports, and I wanted to break the paradigm that it takes 10 years or more to learn a sport. Since that goal was realized, now the training is focused on enjoying the process of trying to improve as much as I can to have a shot at the podium. I could win, and I could be last place. That is what sports are about... we do not know who the winner will be. That is why the competition must be held. The gold medals cannot be handed out today. It must be contested on a fair playing field. I am a wild card.

I hope you know the spirit of my quest, and I hope it is fun to watch.

Sheila T.

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Paradigms

Part of my mission is to break two paradigms out there: #1) that it takes 10 years to learn a sport and #2) that a person is too old to do well after their mid 20s. How can someone set a number of years it will take to become proficient at a sport? Never box this, because it all depends on how hard the athlete works, what does the athlete think about during practice, does the athlete come up with excuses to get out of workout, or do they put their head down and work 100% with no excuses? Does the athlete understand his/her own body and take care of it with proper nutrition, rest, and stretching, strength work and massage?

Also, at age 38 I feel like I can perform as well as I did in my teens and twenties, even better. I have to work harder on strength and flexibility, but I can take advantage of the years of experience and the developed aerobic system. We are just now seeing athletes (men and women) compete later in life, partly because it is financially possible. Even in the 80's there were not nearly the same opportunities for athletes in sports like swimming as there are now. Each sport has a National Governing Body (NGB) that has a performance plan with health insurance and monthly stipends for national team members, and sports are organizing competitions with prize money. This is in addition to private sponsorships, so athletes who develop their talent into a business opportunity can afford to compete until they no longer feel the desire.

Biking at the 2004 World Triathlon Championships in Madiera, Portugal

Triathlon tips to come soon. Keep checking in.